The real consequences of global warming.

I was watching the Superbowl on Sunday and one of the highlights for me besides the game and the food is the commercials.  Even in Canada we get new commercials. 

Although I don't get to see the one where Clint Eastwood's tells America that the current economic crisis is halftime and they need to rally in the second half.  If the current economic crisis is halftime, isn't it likely that by the end of the game (which I can only assume is the Rapture) the other team (who I can only assume are the terrorists/bankers) have ended any doubt and have turned a large halftime lead into a bone-crushing victory.  God may want you on that floor, but real life miracle comebacks are few and far between.

That said we did get a new commercial for a car.  The commercial features a polar bear walking through the streets until it comes upon a man and rears up.... only to give him a big hug.  Because (you see) he is driving an electric car.  Electric cars are good for the environment and thus the polar bears love you if you drive one. 

This seems somewhat unrealistic to me.

I think we should all think about this from the polar bear's point of view.  First off, these annoying humans are heating the planet leaving me and my friends trapped on rapidly shrinking ice floes.  Then they get all up in our business and are always filming promo ads/documentaries.  Then they co-op our identity to sell cars (with the vast majority of the models that are sold adding to the fact that the ice floes are melting).

If I am a polar bear, I am not hugging anyone.

Instead, I am mauling the shit out of every human I see.  That commercial would have been so much better if the polar bear rose up and proceeded to eat the car driver.  Then the words "Brought to you by Polar Bears - we will kill you. P.S. we drink Pepsi."

I think we are on the verge of animals restoring order to the world. We all need to be vigilant.  The signs are there.

Last year, a whale took out its trainer at sea world: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyZqq_1hXus.  The sheriff says no indication of foul play.  The whale is LITERALLY a killer whale.  The cops really need to get there act together on this.  I for one am constantly watching my back for the ever present threat of a whale jumping out and squashing me.

If the whales no longer want to jump through hoops and the police won't protect us, we need to take matters into our own hands.

I for one will be watching the squirrels in my neighbourhood very carefully.  They are clearly the masterminds of the coming revolution.