The Kids are (not) Alright

I was at a family function this weekend.  Family functions are the only place outside of pick-up basketball where I can connect with the youth of today.  My wife has 4 cousins all in the 17-24 age range and we usually sit and talk. 

It makes me feel old.  But it also makes me feel sad.

One cousin is taking courses at York in graphic design and she is taking an elective in "dance and culture".  I was excited to hear about this course as I know nothing about dance outside of watching "So You Think You Can Dance" and I was excited to learn vicariously through her.  So I asked her what she was learning. She told me she just started taking the class, but each week they watch a movie about dance and then they critique/discuss it as a class.  I was very excited.  That sounds like an amazing course. 

Until she told me about the first movie.  I will let you guess what it was. 

Was it "Top Hat" with Fred Astaire? "Singing in the Rain" with Gene Kelly?  "West Side Story" or "All that Jazz"?

No.  Guess again.

It was "Save the Last Dance".   I literally said, "Shut the Fuck Up".

"Save the Last Dance" is a horrible movie.  First (and most importantly) it stars Julia Stiles.  Seriously, she is the worst.  I know there is no rationale reason to hate her - but I do.

More than that the movie is the most contrived thing ever.  It is the tragic tale of a child whose mother dies while she is trying out for Julliard (and as I remember she falls in the audition at the exact same time her mother is killed by a drunk driver or something) forcing Ms. Stiles to go to an inner city school where she falls in love with this black guy who teaches her how to dance hip hop.  Said black guy then has to choose whether to be there for her new audition to Julliard or instead go rob a liquor store.  He chooses to support her and misses out on being arrested when the liquor store robbery goes south. 

Spoiler - the movie is less compelling than that one paragraph summary. 

If I was making that movie the black guy would go to the liquor store robbery and die and Julie Stiles would fall again in the audition this time somehow managing to breaking her ankle clean off her body and the movie would end with her broke and alone.  The postscript would be that this was the true to life tale of Abby Lee from "Dance Moms" as the Elton John classic "circle of life" plays quietly in the background.

So the movie is horrible - that is beyond question.  But this is a class about dance and culture.  I suspect that the dance scenes in "Save the Last Dance" are likewise horrible.  I can't imagine that they do any justice to street dancing or to ballet.  The fact that this is a 13 week class on dance and one week (or just under 10%) of the class is spent discussing "Save the Last Dance" is pathetic.

If I was in this class I think I might have some words with the professor. 

Professor:  Please turn to your syllabus.  Week one we will be studying "Save the Last Dance".  Feel free to study Ms. Stiles' characterisation in this and also her work in such other classics as "10 Things I Hate about You".

Me:  Um - you actually want me to watch Save the Last Dance? For the dancing?

Professor:  Yes - absolutely.  And this is just the beginning next week we will be watching "Dancing with Wolves".  It won the Oscar.  Pay careful attention to the beautiful Pas de Deux referenced in the title.

Me:  You do realise that just because a movie has dance in the title that it may not be about dance, right?

Professor:  Please refer to the syllabus entries:

• Week 3-5:  In-depth look at the "Step-up" series and whether it truly has stepped-up to the streets.
• Week 6: Dance sequels that surpass the original, including "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" in which  we will explore Cuban culture in dance. 
• Weeks 9-11: Critical analysis of "Bring It On" vs. "Bring It On Again" vs. "Bring It On: All or Nothing" vs. "Bring It On: In It to Win It" vs. "Bring It On: Fight to the Finish" and testing the hypothesis that the level to which it is broughten corresponds to the extent of Kristen Dunst in the movie. 
• Week 12: Field Trip.  Visit to local arcade to watch people play Dance Dance Revolution
• Week 13: Final assignment on homoerotic sub themes in "Magic Mike" 

Me: Am I being Punk'd.  Seriously, are you Aston Kutcher in a wig?

I seriously doubt I could participate in this course with a straight face.  I really hope this is not indicative of the level of education out there.  If it is Julia Stiles is this generation's Ginger Rogers.  

Our day of reckoning is upon us.  Save the last dance for the devil.