Let us have our mustaches...

So it is Movember the time of year when men grow facial hair in support of prostate cancer.  It is a wonderful idea.  It turns out that men don't like to talk about health issues so prostate cancer wasn't getting a lot of press despite it being a big deal for men.  It is highly preventable if detected early - the problem is detection involves a rather intimate moment with your doctor. 

So someone thought: what if we can make prostate cancer hip?  And they did.  They simply tapped into what playoff hockey players, evil magicians and the 2nd best relief pitcher ever to pitch for the Oakland Athletics (RollieFingers.jpg) knew... Guys love to grow facial hair. 

It was decided that men could grow mustaches in November and this would serve three purpose 1) it would be cool 2) it would get people talking 3) it would raise some money.   It has taken off like a rocket and guys everywhere are embracing it and talking about this issue.  It also has an awesome name: Movember.

So it was with some surprise that I noticed that there is now a movement to have women get involved.  The idea is that women will grow their pubic hair for a month in support of cervical cancer.  This is a horrible idea.

First and most obviously - how are you going to tell if a person is participating?  If you are going to get my donations I need to ensure you are actually doing this.  Just sayin'.  I also imagine corporate sponsorship is going to be hard.

Second, and related to point one above, the whole point of Movember (and its brilliance) is that it got people talking.  Suddenly Jim from accounting is rocking a full Van Buren and you just want to know why.  If it is not self-evident that you are participating then you are going to actively have to discuss this in order to "spread the word".  This is going to make dinner conversation a whole lot creepier for an entire month.

Third, and most importantly, the current names for this are laughable.  The first is Muffember.  The other competing name is Julyna.  Both are horrible.  Febushary, anyone?

What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander.  I don't understand why we need to have gender equality for everything?  Movember is a uniquely male thing which was invented to deal with a uniquely male issue.  We already shut down major highways to have the run for the cure.  

Can't you just let us have our mustaches and keep your crotches out of it?